[link] For your listening pleasure while reading this

Been on the earth long enough to take a few looks back on my life, I've no idea why but all I keep seeing is me getting "the raw deal". If you've heard that expression before it means exactly as it sounds. I've been on Fur Affinity since 06, and generally putting my art on the internet since I was 14...I had these shallow hopes of becoming a big, awesome, famous internet artist like furronika, NuDog, Gideon, Wielder, Unshackled Fenrir, ZEN, etc...you know those artists that you'd be willing, pushing in line just to pay over 45 dollars for them to draw for you...but well, I am known to a degree, and people generally like me, but I guess I'm kind of disappointed you know, I was hoping I'd have at least a fanbase or something. Now I know my art isn't the greatest in the world, and too even myself it's an acquired taste..I'm rarely satisfied with my work, and I nitpick at it until I think it's perfect, but this still isn't where I want to be with my art. But looking at my offline life compared to my life online...online has been so much fucking better, everything fucking awesome when I'm in a place where total anonymity is granted, and no one can judge you, well they can judge you, but the validity on that judgment isn't based on much..but I digress...have I wasted my time in cyberspace, looking for something that isn't there? or will never come to light?


I've no idea when my life went sour...but I also know that there are people that are in worse situations than I am, for quite a while...I've envied over the indigenous people of this planet because of how they've lived...they live without all the bullshit we take for granted in "civilized" society and they're probably the happiest people on this Earth.
But for some reason I see myself wanting to trade places with them, I could analyze my reasoning a lot further and come up with several reasons why that would kick ass but in the end they just have simpler ways of living than we do. That just happens when you complicate shit, there comes tragedy, there comes misery, there comes sorrow, but when you keep things simple you can keep things at a happy medium. That's just the way it is...you have one person in a crowd of people that generally think the same thing who is going to think differently, like it or not that complicates things, whether it's good or bad...I guess that's when all this death, blood, and war really started, when we started to utilize our free will, whenever we got that, and started to apply reasoning, and different opinions than our fellow man.
So then it all leads up to now, my existence, and I think...what real difference has my life meant to anyone? Is the world really a different place with me in it? I guess in the grant scheme of things we're all pretty small, and yet none of our equals...funny how that works huh? Wow...that's a really nice sunset....

Anyway just a little food for thought, hope to get some creative juices flowing and get a nice convo started, thanks for taking the time to read this.